Thursday, July 5, 2012

Rocking In My Chair

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I have been sitting on the deck.
Rocking in my chair.
The table next to me has a beer and sunscreen on it.
The glass I am drinking from has a bee design.
It's a fancy design that I found
while dining in Cannon Beach, Oregon.
I ordered plates and glasses online.
I have them here at my beach place.
Anyway, that is what my lovely Scottish Ale is in.
I sit with an ice pack on my right back.
Hoping that this time it will improve.
I will get up and my leg is better.
Not this disaster that it has become.
I sometimes forget who I now am.
I decide to walk to here or there and
am reminded very fast that I am
indeed not who I used to be.
Silly really how simple a thing walking is.
Everyone does it.
They don't even think about it.
I have had it taken away from me
four or five times now.
I had six really good years.
I hid in my woods and 'it' didn't find me.
Then one day, it did.
Like it was looking everywhere for me.
When it found me, it celebrated.
It was thrilled.
Me, not so much.

So, as I type this I am dealing with the
reality of what my old cat lady body
is and I am not doing ok with it.
Mentally, I am better.
I think that happens when you realize
that there is nothing you can do.
I still have hope though.
At least for now.
And, I have pain pills, at least for now.
When those run out, that will be terrible for me.

And, this having to depend on others for everything
well, it's going to get old fast.

But, for today, I sit in the sun.
I remember walking.
Of all the things that one can remember,
walking without pain
is the one I want so much.

~ JC ~

6 comments:

Fuzzy Tales said...

I will not pretend I fully understand what you are going through. But I *will* send universal healing Light and have the boys send their purrs.

(((Hugs)))

Peace and Blessings.

Brian said...

We are sending good thoughts your way and hope you are feeling some better really soon.

Judy said...

I hope you are feeling better! Walking is something we take for granted, but it is great blessing! At least you still have your mind...
Sometimes!

Forever Foster said...

We're sending purrs, and hope that you are able to feel some improvement.

Cheri said...

Surrounding you in healing light and hope the days to come are better.

cats of wildcat woods

Anya said...

I can very much empathize. I used to walk miles and miles. I kept my weight down that way - then problems, then pain in both feet, then depression, weight gain etc. I can't walk more than 10 minutes before the pain sets in. These days trying to cycle (in-house) to get the weight back down - looking for hope. Without that what do we have? My thoughts are with you - even though I am late catching up with your blog. - Anna

There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all of the drama and the people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right and pray for those who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of life, getting back up is living.

~ Jose N. Harris

Characters In My Garden

Purr Gang ~ My five cats

Cats ~ Al, Ashton Rosevelt, Jasmine Marie, Riley Andrew & Meredith Ann

Fur Gang ~ Jodie Isabella and Sally Jean
(The Original member, Sweet Bella is in memory only now. Maddy Jean, another original member, past away in August of 2014)

Mr. Boatman ~ my husband who likes boats

DD ~ my daughter who graduated and is now out living in the real world

DS or Dson ~ my son is studying computer science and math



Maddy Jean & Bella

Maddy Jean & Bella
Both gone but never forgotten

Jodie Isabella

Jodie Isabella

Al

Al
I adopted him from our local Humane Society

Ashton

Ashton
Adopted from my local horse supply store

Jasmine

Jasmine
I adopted her from Purrfect Pals

Riley

Riley
I adopted him from the local Humane Society

Meredith Ann

Meredith Ann
I adopted her from Purrfect Pals