Childhood, Trees, Memories

I grew up camping.

This reminded me of what I have in my childhood mind.

Living in the Pacific Northwest, the trees look like this.

Been thinking of my younger days.

I have good memories, mostly.

Some, not so much.

Got a call from someone.

Hadn't talked to them in years.

It was about someone from the past.

Someone that I haven't talked to or seen in years.

Not good news.

Not at all.

I wish I had good memories of them.

I have a few.

I just don't have many.

I went to see them.

They don't talk now.

I talked about them.

How they got this way.

What happened.

It was an odd day.

It's an odd time.

My childhood memories.

I'd rather remember the trees.

Just saying ...

~ JC ~

( A relative is in a coma.

I haven't seen or talked to them in years.

They are my last remaining family.

I felt like I needed to go.

I did but it was very odd.

Talked about them and how things are.

Just odd and weird and just sad.)

Maddy Jean

Maddy Jean is eating !!!

I bought cans of Cesar dog food.

She loves it.

We are at the beach this weekend.

I was doing fine until I gave Maddy Jean a bone.

My girls would sit and I'd give Bella a bone first.

Since she was the oldest.

And, Maddy Jean would get hers after her sissy.

Now, I give out one bone.

Maddy Jean still waits a moment for her sissy.

It's getting better.

It is.

I went in the bathroom an bawled my eyes out.

I'm going on two weeks now .. almost.

It's just that her chair that she sat in is empty.

It's so quiet.

I didn't know she made so much noise.

It's a new life for us.

Maddy Jean and I.

We brought Meredith Ann with us.

She seems to know that I'm sad.

She's a smart one.

And, this will get better.

I know it will.

And, it was.

It's just those little things

that catch you and

 you realize that your heart is not healed.

I am broken.

I am without my Dear Sweet Bella.

And, if you can't tell,

I'm still annoyed as hell at the Universe

for taking my Sweet Bella away.

(put in all sorts of words

and imagine an old lady

yelling at the world)

~ JC ~