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| Sedona |
I was thinking early this morning about things.
You know how that happens.
Early noise wakes you.
Too early to get up but your mind starts to go.
I always say a mini prayer.
My own version.
That starts the day.
Nothing big just what I'm thinking.
(I grew up going to church six days out of seven.)
I always wish for good health for my family.
I go through the list.
Hoping that Riley eats more.
That Bella keeps going on like she has been.
That Maddy Jean keeps being puppylike
and never grows old.
and never grows old.
I hope for the big four cats to lose a bit of weight.
That Meredith Ann gets brave.
That the three humans in the group stay healthy.
That the stress in their lives eases a bit.
I then think of myself.
Hoping that today is a good day for me.
(That I am not in a lot of pain.
That I get things done.
That the peace I look for visits.)
That I get things done.
That the peace I look for visits.)
I do my mini prayer that I learned as a child.
I'm just saying it to myself
in the hope that it will happen.
The good things for those around me.
A peaceful path.
I wish for that a lot.
Peace.
Since I woke up five years ago from my coma,
I've felt like I was on borrowed time.
Long story short ... I was not supposed to be here.
I have felt great peace the last month or so.
Making big decisions that were hard.
I think they have made me calmer.
Knowing that I did what was right.
Anyway, I thought I'd tell you about this morning.
That for just a bit I was scared.
For what could happen.
My Purr Gang is getting older.
I know that Bella is in a holding pattern
that will soon end.
that will soon end.
Maddy Jean is only two years younger.
I kind of want things to freeze in motion.
I kind of want things to freeze in motion.
I'll take the pain of today and make it be good.
And, that is what I was thinking about today on
Thankful Thursday.
Thankful Thursday.
I am so very Thankful for all that I have.
I'm just a bit scared for when it may change.
~ JC ~
7 comments:
I usually send the Light and Blessings out, morning and evening and often in-between, my way of "praying."
I hope that it's merely human nature to be afraid of loss, its pain. I'm not sure most people live in dread every day, though, as I do. I think my own fears are augmented by Annie's passing, a natural-enough occurrence during the process of grief.
But I truly don't know if I'll ever have fur companions in my life again after the boys pass (I hope not soon, but we all know life is uncertain). In fact, I can see my entire journey, a pushing away of all (human or non) connections out of an unhealthy fear of loss and pain.
Do you know Wendell Berry's poem, "The Peace of Wild Things?" I read it often. "I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief."
I wish that for you today. :-)
Dearest JC, I also grew up going to church every Sunday, not as many days as you, but faithful even in college in the 60's. Then as an adult I took my children and was a thirty year+ goer. Things got mixed up and I dropped out of church. Something was missing. Then a very wonderful friend gave me a small booklet called "Our Daily Bread." At first I thought that it was to "chrurchy" for me, but I read a page each morning. After growing up with Bible stories and sermons, I read on. Each day something in those words affects me and guides me a little more than not. There was an especially strong note in one of the writings that said that we should listen more, not talk so much. I am listening to you and hoping that your family, pets included can share many, many more peaceful days, months, and years. Love goes out to you from all places. Love and prayers, Lori from the Jarvis House, Long Island.
This is a lovely glimpse into your life. Thank you for sharing yourself this way. You have no way of knowing how this may have an effect on the life of one of your readers.
LOVE all the animals on the sidebar...
happy to send some Spring sunshine to you today
kary and teddy and all the kittys
xxx
very poignant jc...i wish i could reach out to give you a big hug. i fear so many things as well. my thoughts tend to scatter towards the negative but then i catch myself and try to live in the moment which is a good moment and all of the humans and animals are doing fine...sigh...i hope you will know that your blog friends and i care for you and do hope you find peace and a pain free existance.
Thanks for sharing from your heart. I pray each morning such similar prayers. Life is always going to bring change...loss and gain. It is a lot to carry in our human hearts. I often think our animals are here to teach us and guide us. They live in the present, not the past or future. In this moment, "All is well." Let's take refuge in the moment.
My wish is that you find a moment of peace in each day and that it expands to include all your moments. I have found that if I just relax into what is, in each moment - the rest falls away. Not easy to do but take it moment by moment.
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