~ ~ ~
It's odd what you write on a blog.
It's like a diary.
I had one as a teen aged girl.
My dreams.
My hopes.
The cute one that I liked.
How I got my new cat.
Those things.
Now, as I am older,
I found the blogging world.
It brought back that feeling
of expression plus people
that read what I've said.
I don't have a lot who read.
What I've expressed.
Thus, I sometimes am thinking only of myself
when I write what I do.
Today is one of those days.
I am again fighting.
I am in trouble.
My kidney has decided to remind
me that I am in failure.
Oh I was pretending.
I like doing that.
So, this week after two weeks
of coughing and blowing of the nose
due to the nasty cold I got,
my kidney decides to act up.
I called and luckily I had one more
infection prescription left.
I've been taking it this week.
Saved me from having to call
my very busy kidney Dr.
He's so hard to get in to.
I have to schedule my big test.
The one that figures out how
much my left kidney functions.
I never did that after my big surgery.
My heart acted up and I did that surgery.
Then I took the rest of July and August
off to recover.
September was my enjoy month.
Now, it's October and it's back to reminding
me that I am indeed in kidney failure.
This morning was a big reminder.
I sit here looking up kidney failure.
The systems of sepsis.
Thinking can I get over this.
Is it just an infection.
I hope it is.
I want it to be.
I am alone in this fight.
This nasty surviving thing.
I don't want to do this.
I drink my coffee.
Cause I do that every morning.
I will then start to drink my gallons of water.
I will feel better.
I will.
This is not kidney failure.
This is not sepsis.
(I've had that before.)
I am just tired.
I will get better.
I have plans.
Mr. Boatman leaves for a whole week.
I am by myself for a week.
I have things to do.
I am talking to myself.
I feel better about this.
It is just an infection.
I'm a silly old lady.
~ JC ~
