I've been in a find my soul kind of mood for quite a while.
Been walking down a path that opens my eyes.
Thinking I'm here for a reason and still looking.
I know when I was in my coma, I was asked to stay.
I remember telling my Mother that I needed to go.
She asked why and I told her I had cats to feed.
Yes, I remember saying that and I still do.
( It was more like thoughts that I remember.
I can't say for sure that there were words.
It's hard to explain unless it's happened to you.
It's more a feeling but I know
for sure that this happened.
Others who have been in comas report this same thing.
(Mostly with those who where dying, which I was.)
That they were asked to stay
and told if they did not that life would be hard.
They chose to come back like I did.)
Was that the only reason ?
( It was more like thoughts that I remember.
I can't say for sure that there were words.
It's hard to explain unless it's happened to you.
It's more a feeling but I know
for sure that this happened.
Others who have been in comas report this same thing.
(Mostly with those who where dying, which I was.)
That they were asked to stay
and told if they did not that life would be hard.
They chose to come back like I did.)
Was that the only reason ?
(to feed the Purr & Fur Gang)
I'd like to say that the last five years have been great.
They have been very hard.
Not as bad as they could have been
but still physically and emotionally exhausting.
(nothing like waking up to no memories
and realizing that you can't walk or move
and that you can't sense anything
that's not straight in front of you.
And after almost six years
that sense of oddness still remains.)
My mind has been opened.
I think a lot.
I try to figure out each moment.
More than I did before
and I've been a thinker my whole life.
( I am thinking about everything all the time.)
( I am thinking about everything all the time.)
There are times when I think
I've wasted my extra moments.
That I came back here for a reason.
(other than feeding my Purrfect Gang).
I am on a mission to figure this out.
I sure hope I do.
When I'm done here,
(writing my thoughts)
I'm going to make a list.
Try to do those things that elude me.
And, when all else doesn't seem to matter,
at least I have those
precious souls to pet and feed.
I hope you all have a
Grand Extra Long Weekend.
~ JC ~
and
The Purr & Fur Gang ^,,^
4 comments:
I can't imagine what this experience has been like for you but I am glad you are here with us today. Life is a struggle for all of us in one way or another - to come back to care for the fur gang may be just as important than any other reason! I think we make things less than simple - I am trying to just be! Have a lovely weekend.
Oh that is so, I don't know what is the word - interesting doesn't quite cut it, but it is all that comes to mind right now. Never having gone through anythign like that I can't even imagine what it was and has been like. I do know what you mean when you say that you do things for the furry ones - I go to my crappy awful job because of them. And even though I haven't been through what you have, I do feel like there has to be a reason I am here, that there has to be a reason I have to go through all the crappy stuff - it can't just be for nothing.
keep on thinking, and I am sure the cats appreciate that they helped you come home.
xxx
You are the best to tell us this stuff. How else would we ever find out what this experience was like?
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