Thursday, May 26, 2011

Thoughts On Thursday

There are times when one considers all options.
I've been in a find my soul kind of mood for quite a while.
Been walking down a path that opens my eyes.
Thinking I'm here for a reason and still looking.
I know when I was in my coma, I was asked to stay.
I remember telling my Mother that I needed to go.
She asked why and I told her I had cats to feed.
Yes, I remember saying that and I still do.

( It was more like thoughts that I remember.
I can't say for sure that there were words.
It's hard to explain unless it's happened to you.
It's more a feeling but I know
for sure that this happened.
Others who have been in comas report this same thing.
(Mostly with those who where dying, which I was.)
That they were asked to stay
and told if they did not that life would be hard.
They chose to come back like I did.)

Was that the only reason  ?
(to feed the Purr & Fur Gang)
I'd like to say that the last five years have been great.
They have been very hard.
Not as bad as they could have been
but still physically and emotionally exhausting.

(nothing like waking up to no memories
and realizing that you can't walk or move
and that you can't sense anything
that's not straight in front of you.
And after almost six years
that sense of oddness still remains.)

My mind has been opened.
I think a lot.
I try to figure out each moment.
More than I did before
and I've been a thinker my whole life.
( I am thinking about everything all the time.)
There are times when I think
I've wasted my extra moments.

That I came back here for a reason.
(other than feeding my Purrfect Gang).
I am on a mission to figure this out.
I sure hope I do.
When I'm done here,
(writing my thoughts)
I'm going to make a list.
Try to do those things that elude me.
And, when all else doesn't seem to matter,
at least I have those
precious souls to pet and feed.

I hope you all have a
Grand Extra Long Weekend.

~ JC ~
and
The Purr & Fur Gang ^,,^

4 comments:

Cats of Wildcat Woods said...

I can't imagine what this experience has been like for you but I am glad you are here with us today. Life is a struggle for all of us in one way or another - to come back to care for the fur gang may be just as important than any other reason! I think we make things less than simple - I am trying to just be! Have a lovely weekend.

Amy and The House of Cats said...

Oh that is so, I don't know what is the word - interesting doesn't quite cut it, but it is all that comes to mind right now. Never having gone through anythign like that I can't even imagine what it was and has been like. I do know what you mean when you say that you do things for the furry ones - I go to my crappy awful job because of them. And even though I haven't been through what you have, I do feel like there has to be a reason I am here, that there has to be a reason I have to go through all the crappy stuff - it can't just be for nothing.

Lyn said...

keep on thinking, and I am sure the cats appreciate that they helped you come home.
xxx

clairz said...

You are the best to tell us this stuff. How else would we ever find out what this experience was like?

There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all of the drama and the people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right and pray for those who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of life, getting back up is living.

~ Jose N. Harris

Characters In My Garden

Purr Gang ~ My five cats

Cats ~ Al, Ashton Rosevelt, Jasmine Marie, Riley Andrew & Meredith Ann

Fur Gang ~ Jodie Isabella and Sally Jean
(The Original member, Sweet Bella is in memory only now. Maddy Jean, another original member, past away in August of 2014)

Mr. Boatman ~ my husband who likes boats

DD ~ my daughter who graduated and is now out living in the real world

DS or Dson ~ my son is studying computer science and math



Maddy Jean & Bella

Maddy Jean & Bella
Both gone but never forgotten

Jodie Isabella

Jodie Isabella

Al

Al
I adopted him from our local Humane Society

Ashton

Ashton
Adopted from my local horse supply store

Jasmine

Jasmine
I adopted her from Purrfect Pals

Riley

Riley
I adopted him from the local Humane Society

Meredith Ann

Meredith Ann
I adopted her from Purrfect Pals