~ I don't want to go in there.
* Why not ?
~ It's going to be muddy.
* No it won't. They put straw down.
~ I don't think it's a good idea.
* What .. you don't want to get your boots wet ?
~ No, it's not that. I've heard that you hear things over there.
* What things? No one's there but old head stones.
~ That's what I'm talking about. I've heard that sometimes you hear voices.
*Oh, come on. Let's go anyway.
Two college girls walk from campus
over to the very old cemetery.
It sits at the edge of town just beyond the local streets.
During the day people walk by on the way to class.
Some visitors take tours.
Most don't even notice it.
This evening while the clouds shadow the moon,
these two girls take a darkened visit.
~ What was that ?
* Nothing. Just you stepping on sticks.
The scared girl holds on tighter to her friend.
* There I see it ?
~ What ?
* That light in the corner.
~ I'm not going over there.
* I am.
And off she went into the dark
leaving the aleady frightened girl by herself.
~ Where are you ? This isn't fun. I'm going back.
As she turns around,
her friend jumps out.
* Scared you didn't I ?
Walking back into the lightened street,
they both look back at the dark.
~*Let's not do that again.
And, as the two shake their heads in agreement,
a young man comes out of the darkness.
He's not to be seen.
Only heard on those hallowed nights.
~ JC ~
(Sorry about this one. I'm a true work in process.)
To read more go to ~
23 comments:
I'll be hiding under the bed!!!
A remarkable conversation. Makes me shiver, LOL
A clever twist.
Actually I thought it was pretty good. Worth further drafts. (That's only because first drafts ALWAYS need more work.)
This one could be a REALLY spooky story, especially with the little twist at the end.
l like this. It was very real. We're all works in progress.
Very spooky! We thinks it interesting!
Thank goodness foolish youth gives way to wise maturity and the two girls lived to tell the tale. Brrr.
This gave me the willies!
Is your story a true "work in progress"? It is surely worth developing.
shiver
Interesting to say the least. Nice Mag. Love and Light, Sender
It's already showing signs of being a 'nail-biter'.
Very interesting, and scary, too. Even though I know better, I don't go walking in cemeteries at night.
shivers. i had a cemetery in my back yard growing up...one year we saw a glowing man walk across it...this gave me those shivers back...nice mag
I like it. Keep up the good work!
Nice story for Halloween!! Well done! Happy Halloween to you!
I think spiritual energy is all around us, especially on hallowed ground...Sometimes, when they are close to us, I believe they even visit our dreams...Hope you have a great Halloween weekend, JC; kisses to your sweet babies.
Cool story for Halloween, though I think I would have dacked that friend! :)
Wonderful beginning though the end was not as I expected...you write well ,Keep it up!
You certainly captured a scary mood!
I've got goosebumps! Clever story, to be sure...
good start to a spooky story!
You had me down just about right... I'd be the one leading the way trying to startle my friend, of course, up until the end when your gentleman steps out. Eeek!
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