Thursday, May 6, 2010

I'm starting Over

Today I am starting over.
 I am evaluating my life path.
Not that I'm not happy. I am.
Things are out of control.
My old body doesn't like me.
I went on the scale yesterday
and I'm sure most of you heard the
 SCREAMS.

How did this happen .. again ?

I was underweight as a child.
Thin ... wind would blow me away.

Started to gain the lovely pounds
when I was in High School.
Fought the extras and finally lost
 most of them during college.
I did have a year there where I gained a lot.
 Boyfriend problems.
What am I going to do after college problems.
No money problems.

I lost that weight. Gained it back.
Lost that weight. Gained more.
Lost that weight and some.
 Kept it off for a week or two.
Gained it all back and then some.

And, this has happened to me  to the point where now
 I'm very very very very over weight.

Just a year ago, I'd lost thirty of those nasty chubs.
 I felt better about myself.
Now, very slowly they have crept back.
Leading up to yesterday and my SCREAMS.

I got my hair cut at a new local yesterday and two doors down was a closed ... yes, I checked ... Weight Watchers den. I've been there before.
The cattle drive for weigh in is enough
 to drive a grown old lady to drink
 ... an extra loaded with calories ...
mocha with whip cream.

So, I did the on line WW ... see I know the lingo.
 Did that for years. Even formed a Cat Lover's group.
Decided not to pay each month just to talk with friends. Besides, they don't monitor the groups
so any mean spirited ...
and who isn't when they're not eating ...
person can comment.
 And, we all know how mean spirited comments can ruin
any one's day.
 So, I stopped visiting WW.

Only now ... here I am ... all "fill in the blank" pounds of me.
 Mad, sad, upset to say the least, frustrated, how the hell did this happen to me again, what the heck, how's a gal who can't walk too well supposed to walk it off,
 and you get the idea.

Back to counting calories, journaling, not eating ...
and hoping once again ...
 to weigh what it says on my driver's license.

I just found a new blog ... may it be of help to me ...

I'll keep you posted and let you know how it's going.
 It's my blog. I get to do that.

Now, off to get my blue notebook
and journal what I had for breakfast.

Does anyone know how many calories for cat fur in your coffee ?

~ JC ~

31 comments:

Feral Female said...

I can relate to your battle with weight. I`ve fought it all my life. Recently I`ve been having some gastro trouble and have dropped all chocolate and caffeine products. Also no snacking after dinner at 5 and the pounds are slowly dropping...but man to I miss a candy bar at night!

Good luck!

Pam said...

I don't really have weight issues, just put on a few after turning 50. I loaded a calorie app on my iPod touch, and it is helping a lot. Just having to stop and think whether I really want to record that cookie or not seems to help!

Kea said...

I haven't had a scale since my mid-20s. I have to get weighed at the doctor's office, even if just once or twice a year, and I cringe. Never thought I'd be packing an extra 30 pounds. Have lost, gained, lost, gained over the years. Pretty much have given up.

But here's the thing: if you cut your calories by 300 per day, you will lose 30 pounds in a year. Most of us can give up 300 calories without deprivation, no problem. Think of what you are drinking, a specialty coffee, or maybe a cookie you are munching. The difficulty is that we are a NOW, NOW, NOW, FAST, FAST, FAST society and we don't want to make a lifestyle change that takes a year to lose those 30 pounds. More fool us, since we're essentially doomed to repeat the cycle of quick loss/faster gain over and over again.

Best of luck to you! I would just say don't deprive yourself, because you know it will backfire.

P.S. Did you like your hair cut???

Laila and Minchie said...

Cat fur is zero points! Mom is a lifetime member of WW but has gained all the weight back plus 20! It's a daily struggle.

Remington said...

I have had to watch what I eat ALWAYS! But let me tell you....don't be come too focused on just that! Do the "smart" eating thing but know that you are a great person and you have much to offer in this world. The weight will come off and the focus should be on your happiness....
When I talk about "smart" eating --this is what it means to ME....when I want candy, I eat an orange....when I buy groceries I read labels....no more than 3 where it says fat....I limit my portion sizes to smaller....no sodas, just water and plenty of it!....go for walks and look at all the little things that are beautiful in this world....just the little things make a big difference....enjoy your life, my friend!

Brian said...

I know you can do it!!! Don't worry about the zero calorie cat furr, load up!

Darlene said...

In the last five years I have put on way too much weight. I just can't seem to get the motivation to do something about it!! I LOVE food and HATE to exercise!!!

Roses and Lilacs said...

When we get older, we all put those extra pounds on so quickly. Exercise is the only thing that works for me. I hate to exercise but nothing else gets the pounds off.
Marnie

The Kool~Kittie~Krew said...

Our mom used to be a size 5 (7 years ago), then met our dad. She's now in double digits, and was hoping it was thyroid related (she's having surgery July 9th on it as they found a 4.5cm mass on the left side), but the doctor informed her it has nothing to do with weight gain. She's very depressed and just needs to exercise, which she doesn't. Plus, WINE does not help! So fattening. She tells our dad she's pregnant with wine's baby! MOL>

Lucy the Cat said...

It sounds like there's some really good advice here. I was thinking that if you can't really walk, you may want to try a stainonary bike that is one of those low to the ground ones with back support. I forget what they're called. Of course, the problem is that you would probably have to join a gym. Anyway, I wish you the best with this.

Jacqueline said...

JC, I've never had to lose more than 10 lbs, but that is hard to do; it does get harder after 40 too...Have you tried yoga?...You can order some good dvd's on Amazon=you can even get 1 dvd with beginner, intermediate, advanced lessons; it is great exercise, aids in flexiblity and doesn't have to be hard on your body while doing it...I lift weights, stationary bike (having ac is wonderful, especially since my hysterectomy last year=hot flashes are awful!), yoga...Best of luck; it's not an easy thing for anyone to do.

Cindy said...

I totally understand!

JC said...

Thank You ... such great suggestions. I will see what I have cd wise. When it comes to walking, I can do it .. sometimes and other times well, the old leg goes one way and I go the other. Just the remains of having Transerve Myelitis and that darn coma.

I don't want to join a gym. I'd probably never get there. What I need to do is portions, journaling whether it be mental or writing it down, and not eating after 8 pm or so.

Water .. I drink a lot of it but I suppose more could help.

Fruit .. I don't like it.

Breakfast .. always my problem. Don't know what to eat for that one.

Today so far I'm doing ok. I really don't eat desserts so that's not the problem.

I just need to eat less and walk more. Simple right ...

Hair ~ I liked the place I went to yesterday. (by the ww office) A bit odd with the massage before hand ... with scents .. I picked rosemary. The cut is ok. Not great but better than what I was getting. I get my roots done in a week or so. She was booked ... I will give it more time.

And, now off to the grocery store for fruits and something lowfat for breakfast ... lowfat yogurt perhaps ...

Felted House said...

I do so hope you find a good way forward with this - what a constant struggle it seems to be for so many people, including me! I'm tall so can get away with quite a few excess pounds without anybody noticing, but I notice, and it's my self-esteem that suffers. I used to be 2-stone heavier than I am now and it's always a bit of a battle to keep from over-eating as I comfort-eat, and it's just so frustrating to feel you have taken a step backwards. My worst times are tea-time and after 8pm when I go to the cupboard for just one thing and end up not stopping! I found it helpful to identify my worst times of day and try and make or find small but healthy snacks that I could have one of at those times without feeling as if I'd blown it all! That and having some protein at each meal to help me feel a bit full for longer. Anyway, I do hope you find something that works well for you. I've heard good things about Pilates too as exercise but haven't tried it. Wishing you every success. xx

Junior and Orion said...

I hate this. My weight has crept up slowly over the years. Oh I have known it is going that direction, but now other health concerns have arisen, so it is time to start losing. Lost 20 pounds last year and amazingly have kept the majority of it off. I figure as long as I lose a little each year, rather than gain it, then I am doing good.

May I suggest swimming or biking for you instead of walking?

Junior and Orion said...

Just read that you aren't fond of fruits...so go for veggies!

JC said...

I'm back from the store. Having water with slices lemons.

Bought ~ Organic bananas ... man those cost a lot more than the regular ones. Four apples that I remembered we bought last year and liked. Bought already sliced grilling veggies. And, strawberries ... whole wheat bagels and a whole wheat cereal for breakfasts. Oh, and my salad friend organic celery.

I eyed the yogurt but someone was having a discussion with a young fellow so I didn't want to disturb.

I think I have one or two in the way back of my frig ... off to check those dates ...

Laoch of Chicago said...

Small steps are best, building little gains until they become big. Good wishes on the journey.

Judy said...

i know what you mean about the scales attacking!!i am trying to pay attention to what i eat, and why i am eating it. so often it is boredom - what to do now - i know! i will eat something snacky!!

Tober the Cat said...

I think cat furrs are actually negative calories 'cause your body's got to work so hard to digest 'em. AB Christine says if you want a really tasty yogurt you should try Greek Gods honey-flavor. It's nice and thick and has proteins and she says a little goes a long way. I don't know. Temptations sound better to me.

Amy said...

You expressed the frustration and the reality of weight gain/loss very well. I'm a lifetime member of Weight Watchers (earned that back in the early 90's). I've been back 3 or 4 times since to try to lose the "extra" 20 plus pounds. I checked the website (Be Well) you linked and it seems like it would be a good positive reinforcement. I've found when I actually write down everything I ingest, it helps. Also walking and gardening help me - maybe it's the endorphins kicking in. Hang in there!

p.s. I'm a new reader - I'll be back!

Nicole said...

Mommy, this close to mother's day I just want to make sure that you know that you are beautiful.

I fully support your decision to feel better and live healthier, but if that means cutting way back on what you eat, I'm begging you not to. You eat a really well proportioned, balanced diet, and when you cut back on calories like you do when you diet you're just going to get tired, depressed, have no/low energy, etc.

Buy some hand-weights and gentle-back yoga dvds, or those stretchy resistance bands (there are some in my closet!) Weight training and exercises like reverse crunches, push ups, etc. will be low-impact and increased muscle mass will help you burn more caloreis even on those days you don't feel like walking!!

I love you and think that you are the strongest, most beautiful woman in the world. The only thing that could add to that is if you thought so too.

Natalie said...

Good luck ♥

critterlover said...

I get it, well, you know I get it, since you and I met on WW cat lovers!

I started over too, a new kick-arse workout and it is... kicking my old fat arse!

I like it though, am already seeing changes in my body, now if I could just get my eating under control too. Some days I have it, some days... well, not so much.

Cat fur, I believe is added fiber so would lower your coffee points, I'll have to check my old manual :-)

Webster said...

Re: organic bananas from fitsugar.com
"With the sky-rocketing prices of food, buying organic may not be feasible all the time. Bananas, along with avocados, mangos, papayas, and pineapples have been found to have the lowest pesticide residue. However, apples, cherries, grapes, nectarines, peaches, pears, raspberries, strawberries have very high pesticide residues so you might want to splurge on organic."
Either that, or wash your fruit really well.
Also, WW English muffins might be better than bagels (though I do love a toasted bagel.) An EM topped with a little, emphasis on little, peanut butter or neufchatel cheese or naturally sweetened fruit toppings are good. Or an old fashioned poached egg.

I have to break the sugar habit, and to that end I am trying the 0 calorie PureVia in my coffee, and it's not bad. It's Stevia and something else.

Good Plan and Good Luck!

PS: I hear you about the exercise thing. Going to PT is tough enough!

clairz said...

You are so honest and you made me smile--so many of us are in this together.

Loved this part: "to weigh what it says on my driver's license" LOL!

JC said...

The driver's license number ... wouldn't it be nice to weigh that. Yikes ... that will be my goal since I renew it this Summer.

Had my organic banana ... actually was good.

Now, I'm off to work in my yard

tank said...

"The cattle drive for weigh in is enough to drive a grown old lady to drink"

LOL. I know, right!

Been there. But I bet the cattle get weighed more quickly. Seriously.

PurestGreen said...

I think a lot of us know this feeling. Last autumn I worked out like a crazy person and lost 10 pounds, but fell off the wagon at Christmas and never got back on. Found those 10 pounds again and I really don't want them. It's a struggle, and it always will be.

The thing that helps me: juicing. When I make myself a big, fresh vegetable juice in the morning, it erases my cravings. I just don't feel hungry because I've just given my body a huge boost of nutrients. It takes away having to rely on will power, because the cravings aren't there. All there is left to deal with is the emotional craving, which can be harder than the physical. Sigh.

Wishing you good good luck on your journey!

JC said...

So, in the morning I need a veggie juice sort of like a V Eight. My Mom used to have those. I do not own a juicer but maybe I should ask for one for Mom's Day.

The WW Cattle Drive ... man that drove me nuts. I only wanted to hear the advice of the leader. You'd feel so good about dieting after that. The lo Cal was two cities away ... and now they have branched out so it's very close. Too close actually.

I'm doing ok. Had my bannas and dinner last night was a salad with nonfat dressing and lots of veggies.

Fin said...

I hear cat fur is calorie free. Mom feels your struggle and wishes you very good luck.

There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all of the drama and the people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right and pray for those who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of life, getting back up is living.

~ Jose N. Harris

Characters In My Garden

Purr Gang ~ My five cats

Cats ~ Al, Ashton Rosevelt, Jasmine Marie, Riley Andrew & Meredith Ann

Fur Gang ~ Jodie Isabella and Sally Jean
(The Original member, Sweet Bella is in memory only now. Maddy Jean, another original member, past away in August of 2014)

Mr. Boatman ~ my husband who likes boats

DD ~ my daughter who graduated and is now out living in the real world

DS or Dson ~ my son is studying computer science and math



Maddy Jean & Bella

Maddy Jean & Bella
Both gone but never forgotten

Jodie Isabella

Jodie Isabella

Al

Al
I adopted him from our local Humane Society

Ashton

Ashton
Adopted from my local horse supply store

Jasmine

Jasmine
I adopted her from Purrfect Pals

Riley

Riley
I adopted him from the local Humane Society

Meredith Ann

Meredith Ann
I adopted her from Purrfect Pals