Today is a new morning. A new start. A sunny freshness.
Yesterday was not. It was a dark day. I tried to open the dull views.
I took several naps. I have one side that gets tired. Literally.
I look fine. I try so hard to pretend that I am.
I made it through the day.
Today I'm a bit better. I feel it hiding, waiting, looking for it's moment
To start again. To make my day less than purrfect.
I thought that maybe it was time to go back to the quacks .. and I don't mean ducks. I've been to so many of them. They look at me like I'm making all this up. You would think that if you've been in a coma ... they would believe you but no ... they do not.
I told myself the last time ... I went to my car and cried ... I left my neurologists office, that this was it. I was on my own. I need to fall on the floor in the middle of a crowd and wait ... for that one Dr. who just studied up on what I have ... whatever that is ... and when I get to the er ... that Dr. ... who is cute ... it's my dream ... will be the one who sees me and is nice to me ... cause I've already gone through all the Dr's that aren't nice ... I think they were practicing on the day I was there.
Anyway, that nice Dr will be there and know right away what's wrong with me. The cure will not include five days of steroids at the infusion clinic, no it will not, it will include a pill of some kind. The wonder pill that I've been waiting for since I woke up ... and they ... the mean Dr's and the sometimes rude nurses ... will give it to me with a smile and the headache that I woke up to and have been friendly with ... these almost four years ... will go away and never ... ever ... come back to me. I will have the use of my right side ... I will be young again ... it's my dream.
Today I would like to take that pill but I need to go find that crowd to pass out in. With my luck, everyone will step on me or over me and I'll pick myself up and go on with my day. And since that is my scenario, I'll just keep on trying.
I will though, from time to time, dream of that Dr ... Nice and Cute ... and his wonder pill. He's out there isn't he ?