Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Nice and Cute

Today is a new morning. A new start. A sunny freshness.

Yesterday was not. It was a dark day. I tried to open the dull views.

I took several naps. I have one side that gets tired. Literally.
I look fine. I try so hard to pretend that I am.
I made it through the day.

Today I'm a bit better. I feel it hiding, waiting, looking for it's moment
To start again. To make my day less than purrfect.

I thought that maybe it was time to go back to the quacks .. and I don't mean ducks. I've been to so many of them. They look at me like I'm making all this up. You would think that if you've been in a coma ... they would believe you but no ... they do not.

I told myself the last time ... I went to my car and cried ... I left my neurologists office, that this was it. I was on my own. I need to fall on the floor in the middle of a crowd and wait ... for that one Dr. who just studied up on what I have ... whatever that is ... and when I get to the er ... that Dr. ... who is cute ... it's my dream ... will be the one who sees me and is nice to me ... cause I've already gone through all the Dr's that aren't nice ... I think they were practicing on the day I was there.

Anyway, that nice Dr will be there and know right away what's wrong with me. The cure will not include five days of steroids at the infusion clinic, no it will not, it will include a pill of some kind. The wonder pill that I've been waiting for since I woke up ... and they ... the mean Dr's and the sometimes rude nurses ... will give it to me with a smile and the headache that I woke up to and have been friendly with ... these almost four years ... will go away and never ... ever ... come back to me. I will have the use of my right side ... I will be young again ... it's my dream.

Today I would like to take that pill but I need to go find that crowd to pass out in. With my luck, everyone will step on me or over me and I'll pick myself up and go on with my day. And since that is my scenario, I'll just keep on trying.

I will though, from time to time, dream of that Dr ... Nice and Cute ... and his wonder pill. He's out there isn't he ?


ellen abbott said...

One can only hope.

Lover of Life/ Nancy said...

I hope you find that young Dr. soon. How awful to have a headache every day. Love, light & blessings heading your way...

JC said...

I've had migraines since I was ten or so. Since my coma, I've had totally different headaches. Always on my right side, taking over total control.

My Neuro. says it's Migraines that are different due to my coma. He can't give me anything due to the coma.

What he offered me was so dangerous that he decided not to give me anything.

He told me to take magnesium and B Complex ... which I do but somedays it just doesn't work.

Awe ... the after life of being in a coma ... nothing like it ...

So, I will look for that magic pill that does not cause kidney stones or blood clots in the brain

I've already had those ... been there done both of those ...

May you all have a Purrfect Day ... I plan on it ..

Sherri said...

JC, thanks for stopping by my blog! I also like to hear from new blog friends! I hope you get some relief from the headaches soon!

Noll's Nip said...

How difficult that must be, I can only imagine from your words. I'm saying a little prayer for you.

Susan at Stony River said...

Oh, I like that dream of yours. I hope at least the best parts of it come true, and before too long.

Pop and Ice said...

Never thought I'd be grateful to say that my daughter takes so much medicine - but she does - and it works! And no side effects as yet.

I don't know what I would do if she had to suffer because she couldn't take the multiple pain meds she needs to keep going. Avoiding the ER and morphine are tops on my list.

I can't imagine your everyday life. When I have a headache, everything grinds to a halt for me. And if it happened every day, I would go mad.

I surely hope you can find a doctor that can find a safe way to treat your pain because that is no way to live. Although obviously you do. Every day. That makes me very sad, JC.

janis said...

Oh JC~
Hang in there! You need a cat to curl up on your lap. You are in my prayers girl!

Cindy said...

I get a lot of headaches that also cause teeth grinding. My dentist gave me a night appliance & told me to get counseling. My primary dr. gave me some medicine that is helpful but makes me yawn at the wrong moments. My gyn still has me on a lower-dose BC pill. Sometimes my PMS drives me nuts. Maybe there'll be a new drug Huey Lewis describes that'll be good for all of us (no side effects).

Andrea said...

Oh my, I feel for you. Headaches of any kind or so painful. The medical community sometimes just doesn't get it. I once had a doctor say to me "why do you think we call it 'practicing medicine?' We really don't know what the hell we're doing." Comforting, huh? Hang in there!

Mishkat said...

The headaches sound so awful - I'm really hoping you do find something that can help! I know how it is to go around and around with doctors :(.

Sending you good thoughts and many purrs!

Tuck said...

I hope that you find that doctor one day soon. So many doctors are cold and uncaring. Makes you wonder why they went into that field to begin with....

Natalie said...

Love to you, sweet JC.I am praying that your vision finds you before too long.xx♥

Judy said...

More prayers, and wishing you a full recovery!!

Laoch of Chicago said...

Since I had my stroke I often feel disassociated, as if I was in some odd sort of fugue state from my time before my illness. I tend to think of this as my brain healing, albeit slowly.

Rain said...

JC...you are such a courageous woman. I hope you meet that doctor and the magic pill will exist for you one day.

Herrad said...

Hi JC,
Hope it is a puurfect day tomorrow.

Reese =^..^= said...

I am so sorry for your pain and suffering. I wish I could magically take it away from you. Alas, I can not. What I can do is say a little prayer and let you know that you have a friend in me.

critterlover said...

I hope you find relief. When you find the magic pill, or good doc, do let us know. I'm always on the hunt for both.

Magnesium should help, but you'd have to take more than a low dose pill. We absorb so little from the pills. I use Ionic Fizz by Pure Essence Labs, and the plus, it helps you sleep. Maybe give that a try?

Wish on a Whisker said...

I wish you the best!!!! ~Mandy (Have you ever tried acupuncture?)

There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all of the drama and the people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right and pray for those who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of life, getting back up is living.

~ Jose N. Harris

Characters In My Garden

Purr Gang ~ My five cats

Cats ~ Al, Ashton Rosevelt, Jasmine Marie, Riley Andrew & Meredith Ann

Fur Gang ~ Jodie Isabella and Sally Jean
(The Original member, Sweet Bella is in memory only now. Maddy Jean, another original member, past away in August of 2014)

Mr. Boatman ~ my husband who likes boats

DD ~ my daughter who graduated and is now out living in the real world

DS or Dson ~ my son is studying computer science and math

Maddy Jean & Bella

Maddy Jean & Bella
Both gone but never forgotten

Jodie Isabella

Jodie Isabella


I adopted him from our local Humane Society


Adopted from my local horse supply store


I adopted her from Purrfect Pals


I adopted him from the local Humane Society

Meredith Ann

Meredith Ann
I adopted her from Purrfect Pals